Is a drink always a date?

The evening with the Harvard Club brought little interest other than a million business cards that are now sitting in my rubbish bin. I would say there were no 'eligible bachelors' there, as noone took my interest, but in fact I imagine most people would say the room was full of them. I mean hundreds of Harvard graduates packed into the Banquet room of the Shang-ri La hotel screams eligible bachelor doesn't it? Not if they are ugly. No. You see, my ex (we will call him Boogie) was the nicest person alive, but not really a looker. And after that ended (about a hear and a half ago, we were together for 3 and a half years), I've become extremely shallow.

An example: My friends are constantly teasing me for my fascination with rugby players. Seriously though, I rarely get with people who aren't rugby players. I like muscle-y thighs.

So now I am in Beijing for 6 months, single, and having fun. There was one experience with a Canadian jock who said 'BOOM' at the end of every sentence (e.g. while showing me around his apartment, he said 'Its so awesome, its like, you want to watch TV and BOOM there's a sofa). He was not a very nice person, and made me go and catch a cab at 5am in the -10 freezing cold Beijing winter. Hmm. Fun night before-hand though.

OK so tonight - a drink with a very handsome man who I shall call Mr T. Mr T and I have known eachother for about 3 weeks, and I still have absolutely no idea if anything is ever going to happen between us. I am crazy about him - he is (obviously) very very good looking, comes from Manchester (where my dad is from, and yes, girls always want to date their fathers) and lives in Beijing. The only problem is.. Nothing has happened yet. We SMS all the time, I see him every week at this weekly pub quiz thing (so lame i know, but also a god send if you're new to a city and want to find the expat community). Last friday we were out (Mr T and I, and all my friends) and we spent the whole night talking to eachother. Then, in the cab ride home (sharing taxis = cheap), he held my hand, which was very sweet. But then he sends me message the next day saying he vomited as soon as he got out of the taxi. So he was wasted. So holding my hand probably means nothing.

So thats it really. We went to a gig together on Friday night, just the two of us, and had an amazing time. Danced the night away, and also spent ages chatting on the sofas. Lovely. But nothing happened. We're friends, aren't we? Hmm. Tricky. Especially as I don't really have guy friends. Not out of choice, I just find that boys and girls are never 'just' friends - there are always feelings somewhere, whether one-sided or not. So, other than my fabulous gay friends, I'm very new to this 'hanging out one-on-one with a gorgeous guy you get on well with who once held your hand and talks to you all the time' concept. My solution? Deal with it. Accept the fact that we're friends. And tonight's drink is as friends. And, chances are, absolutely nothing will happen. The good thing is, I've been nothing but myself around him, which is so liberating. If nothing ever happens, then its just not meant to be - you can't get upset everytime someone you like doesn't like you.

A drink with Mr T. My first 'drink' that is not a date. At least I don't think it is...