New crush?

I think I've started liking someone new... But there's a slight problem: He is a friend of T's. A good friend. And he's also a friend of mine, and friends with my friends, and a member of the team @ Quiz. So generally not ideal.

Plus, I reckon he's a bit of an idiot when it comes to girls so if I was to decide I definitely wanted something to happen, I would have to go for it 100%, as I don't think he would guess in a million years that I like him. 

On Friday night I was at dinner at my Chinese friend's house with my flatmate K, and Mr T. My Chinese friend randomly asked if my 'boyfriend' would be in the club we were going to afterwards - my 'boyfriend' being T's friend, who I shall call Squirrel. (I have no idea why I am so protective on this blog about people's names, no one reads this anyway so it is extremely unlikely the boys in question will stumble across this page, but it's quite fun). I laughed it off, but T piped up 'He's will into you, you know'. I fell silent as wasn't sure what to say... And after several painful seconds T starts laughing saying 'Only joking'. Luckily I hadn't said/done anything to imply I quite like Squirrel, so my secret is still safe I think. I realise it must be a bit weird for T that they thought he was my boyfriend, seeing as if anyone acts/looks like my boyfriend when we're out, it'd be T. Nothing has happened with Mr T by the way, we're solid friends. He's also a man slut which ain't sexy.

Some of my friends reckon I don't actually like Squirrel, I'm just lonely/frustrated, want to get back at T, and he's one of the few guys I know here. I agree with the first and last part of that, yes the hotties in this city are few and far between, and yes i'm quite bored of being single, but I definitely don't think its got anything to do with me and T. I agree that ideally the next guy I shack up with would be completely separate from T and my group of friends. But you can't help who you like.

Not sure i'm going to do anything about this though - probably best left as friends. The thing is, i'm not desperate at all - I've had one or two chances to hook up with randoms in clubs over the past week, and turned them down. I think I just miss intimacy - and you can read that however you like. A boyfriend at some point would be nice, though I still have massive issues with monogamy (I have never been faithful), and I am only 20 (21 next month). So definitely not desperate for some kind of full on relationship, but maybe just a bit of excitement/romance for my last 4 months in Beijing...

American Pie? Not my guy...

My silence on this blog reflects the silence of my love life. I was going to say the silence of my heart and then realised it really is more the silence coming from my room and lonely empty king-sized bed every night that bothers me, if you catch my drift. 

The only story I can muster up takes place somewhere between American Pie and Lost in Translation. On wednesday night my wonderful team won at Quiz (yes a capital letter is definitely needed here) and so, obviously, I got drunk. I spotted a hottie across the room (wearing a t-shirt saying Ipood - not so hot) and wandered over. To my surprise/glee, he took the bait and we ended up chatting all night. I probably could have kissed him - he had his arm around the back of my chair, his face was pretty close to mine (not in a space invader way) and he had already told this other guy that he thought I was 'cute'. But I chickened out, got his number, and went home. God knows why I chickened out - I guess I didn't want to be seen macking out with this guy in the bar I go to at least once a week, especially as he knows loads of people there too. I'm not hugely into public displays of affection.

So the next day we text and I end up going over to his apartment. He takes out his bong (I wish that was a sexual innuendo but it isn't) and I suddenly realise I am hanging out with what might as well be Jim from American Pie - there is a lava lamp on the table, a bong in his hand, and he's wearing skater shoes and unflattering baggy jeans. I honestly felt as if I was in a typical American teenager drama. We had agreed to go to beer pong at the same bar as the night before, and he had already signed me up as his team mate so couldn't bail. Beer pong was quite fun actually - we won, so kudos to me. But his chat/general existence was fairly awful. Yet another guy who feels the need to say 'Boom' at the beginning/end of most sentences. And he's sexist. And boring. And really not as hot as the night before.

So I got out of there sharpish. And there ends the story of the beer pong, the bong, and all that is wrong... Until I drunkenly phoned him on friday at 3am, once my beer glasses were tightly fastened and my 'standards' completely loosened.

Thank God he didn't pick up.

Let's just scare away all my men

So now this is hilarious. Before coming to Beijing, I was seeing a boy at university. I shall call him Duracell Bunny. We were seeing eachother on and off for the whole of last term, so only 8 weeks, but in university terms thats pretty good going. He came to stay at my house and met my parents the night before I left for Beijing. So, naturally, I still think about him now and then, and we chat sometimes on Facebook. 

On Saturday night I returned home in the early hours of the morning, blind drunk, and furious with T as he hadn't looked after me in my drunken state in a club (luckily my Chinese friend had saved me from myself). I think to myself 'Hey, Duracell Bunny was always so lovely when I got wasted. That time I was swaggering around with a bottle of Champagne and then randomly hit the deck, he picked me up and took me home. And stayed the night. And took me for breakfast the next day. Yeah, he is amazing'. So I open my laptop, log in to Facebook, and send this:

some reasons why i think the world of you:

1) you have a fit bod

2) you would take care of me if i was wasted (which i am now)

3) i reckon you like me no matter what

4) you are good at cuddles

5) you like cuddling me

6) you miss me (i know that)

7) you like all the best things about me and find amusing, not annoying, all my good qualities [I'm fairly sure I meant to write 'all my bad qualities']

8) you are a-mazing in bed and i miss that beyond belief

HAHAHA. How funny is that. The best part is, I don't even regret it. I meant all those things. And I know him, and he won't have found that psycho-ish. To be honest, he's two years younger than me, I'm the closest he's ever had to a girlfriend, and he's practically got no mates now that I'm in China. So he should be bloody ecstatic with that message...

...even if he hasn't replied.

Something with claws

This is just a quick anecdote, as I really have nothing to report. I thought getting over T Man was easy but then I had to see him on Wednesday and that was rubbish. We're all friends now, my friends and his, me and him, him and my friends, visa versa, so I am going to have to get used to us hanging out and me secretly pining after him while he pines after this other girl (and flirts with most other girls that come and talk to him).

Anyway, wednesday night, we're all quite drunk and were discussing what animals we would be if we weren't human. I ask what I would be, and he replies 'Something with claws'. CLAWS?! I mean, really. That says quite a lot. I think the word 'intense' was also thrown in there somewhere. Fantastic.

A note to my readers (reader?): I'm not actually as neurotic in real life as I am in this blog. Really. So, you see, I am shocked that while I thought I was being the pinnacle of Coolness and the definition of Chilled, he had me sussed as the predator I was born to be.

Cg